When I first moved to the United States, the only words I knew in English were “hello” and “oops.” My parents, on the other hand, were rather proficient in English. It wasn’t the fact that we couldn’t understand English that made navigating this new world difficult, however.
Language barriers extend beyond simple knowledge of language. Cultural connotations in certain languages often create a rift between individuals from different cultures, who express emotions in different forms.
Growing up in China, large family gatherings were a normal, weekly occurrence. My aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews sat in a circle around a circular table, feasting upon flavorful Chinese delicacies that could never be beaten by its Western renditions. These gatherings were often the highlights of my week as I laughed along with my cousins and chased each other across the restaurants.
It was always at the end of the dinners, however, that things took a turn. My cousins and I sensed a shift in the air, tensions rising as dinner edged to a close. It was the battle of deciding who pays the check.
In many Asian cultures, paying the check at the end of dinners is a sign of respect for the other person. In my family, it often evolved into a borderline brawl to decide who will pay the check. My uncle, fighting to pull out his wallet as my dad pulled his arms away from his pockets. Borderline screaming filled the room- if a bystander were to walk in, they would think that an violent argument ensued.
When I moved to America, I had no idea what “splitting the bill” meant. Gathering with a couple of American friends of ours, my parents often rushed to pay the entire bill, while our friends looked on in confusion. When my parents returned from paying they asked them, why not just split the bill?
Ultimately, this experience is only one of many other cultural differences between Asian individual sand American individuals. This unavoidable risk often leads to confusion, miscommunication, and sometimes conflict, if gestures that are normal in other cultures are perceived as rude and ignorant. Certain expressions in Chinese, for example, physically cannot be expressed in English, and vice versa.
I am privileged to having parents that were already quite fluent in English, as first-generation immigrants. But others in the same situation do not enjoy the same advantages. That is why it’s important to find solutions and spread awareness.
What can we do?
One of the most important factors is for individuals to understand the innate differences between cultures. Beyond just Asian communities, it’s important to spread awareness of the diversity and distinctions that define the cultures making up our world. Understanding these differences is the first step towards a more equitable and harmonizing society.
Schools implementing cultural affinity groups would be a great place for people to share about their different cultures and spread awareness.